Hmm..

Last night was bad. Apart from him calling me "clingy" & my headache, and after I cried and cried until I got a nosebleed, I was staring at my hand with the blood and i was like, "Oh crap." '

And then, when I got home, one look at me and my parents started asking what was wrong. Followed by 1 hour of lecture b4 i could go hide in my lair.

Then he was like saying that I should be myself. And he wants me to be clingy. He'll rather have me happy.

Well, I have doubts about that. I dont wanna be considered the annoying girlfriend. Or to be labelled "clingy"

He said he needs about 10% of space, and I was like, "Don't you already have 90% space?"

==" Sigh.

He said he wants the relationship to work, and he's willing to do his part. What about me.

All I can say is,

What else can I do, other than throwing tantrums, stomping my feet on the ground?

Throwing stuff around my room, driving like a madwoman out of frustration.

Because I love him. I would suffer. I can't afford to lose him.

But,

Love does hurt.

It hurts when it seems like he doesnt love you as much as you love him.

It hurts when you're labelled as "clingy" when all you're ready for is to spend the rest of your life with him.

It hurts, when you're willing to waste petrol, money, & time, just to be with him for 2 hours.

It hurts, when all you want is to hear his voice, and he constantly pushes u away during phone calls. And I'm the one calling, not him.

It hurts, when although you're ready to blast the world apart because you're so pissed off at him, but yet, you still miss him.

It hurts, when you relate him to every love song you hear, miss him when you're apart, get pissed when you're arguing, or cry when you're upset.

It hurts most, when it was him who made you fall in love with him.

I didnt choose to fall in love with him.

But yet, I did. And I dont regret it.

^^

Things did turn out after last night.

We had a good sleep, and now that things are afresh,

I hope it stays that way.

I love you, Mako-Chan. I do. Even if I dont say it often.

xx