Suckish updates

Sigh.

Registration today. Was supposed to be fun.

It was la. I basically made a few friends, met my house and roommates. They were all pretty decent.

When I got home, went massive shopping. Mum spent like, 800+ on me.

Felt so bad. She said as long as I study hard and get good results, she's happy.

And then about the laptop, she said no don't bring. So what I said was, I won't bring this month, but I'll bring for the 2nd month. Cause that's when my presentation and projects, assignments and real classes starts and all.

And of course, the promise of a new laptop & my BB if I get good results and get sponsored. =D

Sigh. And then, doesn't seem like he misses me that much.

Yesterday it was Wesak. He was busy the whole day, then KO early.

Then today, since I was pretty busy myself, I didn't make such a big fuss.

So he studied the whole day. Or so he says.

Went back to hostel but he so conveniently forgot to tell me.

I didn't reply for like, half an hour and usually he'll bombard me with smses asking whether I'm there or what's wrong but he didnt.

So I asked what he's doing, he says he's lying on his bed regretting that he can't stay back for his friend's bbq.

I know I'm not his wife or diary, but I do appreciate it if he updates me his plans or what he's doing.

We've been arguing a lot for the past week &.. I dunno.

It sucks.

I hate it when he complains, compares himself with my exes, says sorry, but doesn't strive to improve himself.

So helpless and useless I just hate it.

Never updates his stuff. Leaves me wondering what he's doing, what he's thinking, what does he want, how does he feel.

And I just hate it. The way he acts around his friends. So immature.

And then when I get hyped, he tells me to chill. Or get a grip. Like I'm embarassing him.

I hate it, how he acts with his friends. When clearly, 70% of them aren't exactly in the category of friends. He defends them. He tries his best to stick with them. Join them in stuff, hangout, be the audience. He doesn't mind, because as long as he's with them, he's happy. That's what he told me.

The way most of them treat him with no respect, dirt, but he still clings to them like some loyal sorry ass dog, sticking to them like some annoying gum stuck to the shoe. Sorry Hun but it IS the truth.

It's so pathetic. Really.

And then, he says "I just want to be with them. Sometimes. I mean, what're friends for? They've stick with me till the end. even after the incident."

Well clearly, u've not seen much in this world huh?

That incident, is nothing compared to ANY of my incidents.

My whole life, up to this point, is enough to have 5 complete seasons of my own version of a cross between Greek & Gossip Girl.

True friends, won't forget you, or stop appreciating the value of ur friendship, even if u haven't seen each other in awhile.

For my case, it'll be both Vic & Ash. Barely see each other, when we do, we *scream* *hugs*, and talk for the whole 5 hours we hang out.

Well all I told him was "think whatever you want la."

I'm tired.

He never listens. He never accepts what I say. Never hears. Never actually bothered about what I care about or what I think. He'll say yea ok. And change topic.

OR he'll defend himself. As usual. Go all Sorry Ass mode. Acting like a tiger with a wounded paw, feeling extremely sorry for himself.

Maybe it all just leads to my jealousy that he's not mine entirely. Or maybe I just think too maturely for my own good.

Sorry if it hurts, and I know it's offensive.

A blog is a form of self expression. Just accept it like a sock in the mouth. Wash it first, if u want.

Sniffs

3 more days to registering at Seremban. I'm so excited. XD

Work was usual. Getting really lazy though. In the morning.

I'm in love with my mum's new laptop. *sob*

Operation Bodek still going on. Well even if she doesn't give me this, I'll be getting a new one next year. XD

Wait. THAT is if I get sponsored by KPJ. Gotta impress them la. I hope I can.

Hmm..

My Sakura is lovely~~

My boo gave me a load of movies, and some games~

Left 4 Dead 2, & Modern Warfare 2. =D

Can play directly from the hard drive. No need for installation. And it's portable~ Heh.

What else? Hmm..

Nothing really.

Thats all for now I guess.

xx

Honeymoon session

Hmm

I..have been..bad..

I skipped work. =x

Oh well. Wasn't feeling well ma.

Spent the whole day at his place. =3

AND..

I got my Sakura Pink Buffalo Portable Hard Drive.

Mum bought a new laptop today.

At first she asked whether I want.

Since she's upgrading my RAM, changing my fan, & upgrading to Windows 7 I thought I was happy.

Until..

I got home..

And.. I saw it.

*sob*

Oh well.

It's considered mine anyway.

Since they barely use.

I'm dominating it.

Bwahahaha *EBIL laugh*

Cheers.

Love u Bun Bun.

xx

Songs for moi ♥ Thanks Bie~

Lady Gaga - Alejandro

Usher ft Will.I.Am - O.M.G

Rihanna ft Neyo - Hate That I Love You

Miss Nina ft Colby O'Donis - What You Waiting For

Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra

Alexandra Burke ft Pitbull - All Night Long

All-America Rejects - Heart Heart Heartbreak

Mika - Blue Eyes

Disagree - Haley

One Republic - Secret

Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug

Black Eyed Peas - Rock That Body

Orianthi - Shut Up & Kiss Me

Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart

All-America Rejects - I Wanna

Mary J. Blige - I Am

Toni Braxton - Yesterday

Carrie Underwood - Cowboy Casanova

Jamie Foxx ft Justin Timberlake & T.I. - Winner

Wild night w/ Long Island Tea

Arguments, Tantrums, Strawberry kisses, Long Island Tea, Vodka, Tequila, Rum. =3

Hey peeps. Nothing much to say.

Last night was crazy. Heh. made him drink a bottle of long island and he got DRUNK. Yes.

Hm.. my experiment went well. TeeHee~ =D

Should do it again..next Wednesday? ;)

Laptop STILL in "repair". Mum says it's still not ready. Getting annoying.

Oh and.. the IT guy came in and padam my DNS server. Zz..

I put it back la of course. Think I'm dumb? :P

Oh well. Till next time.

Loving you, Bun Bun.

xx

Hershey's Chocolate Syrup

Well nothing much happened.

9 straight hours of working, 2 sandwiches and some baby tomatoes was all I had for the day.

Wangsa Walk, Cold Storage.

Hmm..

After endlessly talking about the BB I want for a few days, finally in the car this morning [ she sent me to work since my car was sent to repair]

Mum said she'll get me my BB for my birthday if I do well for 1st sem.

And new laptop if I get KPJ to sponsor me after the 1st year.

Hopefully won't be hard. The syllabus I mean. Something I can cope with.

I really want Bb..

And..Missing my hunny boo..

Wifi's been suckish. Can't do much these days.

Updated while I can.

Hope for tomorrow ;)

I love you, D.

xx

Updates

Lots of stuff happened recently. Hmm..

Can't elaborate. Too much. Godpa came back though. For about 10 days.

I hope in the meantime I can still go and see him, since both godparents decided to follow me to gym every evening starting next week. o.O

Work was alright. Crazy at first, but I got the hang of it. Not bad. And, 65 a day. Who doesn't want that? ;)

And then, my registration for KPJ is approaching. Can't wait. Honestly.

1st reason: I can't wait to have all the new friends I can make, and you know, study life suits me.

2nd reason: I can..well..sneak into hostel with him. XD since I'll be away from home. Which is so awesome.

3rd reason: Away from home~ All the freedom, non of the "what time is it now? why're you not back?" Kinda thing.

But then, I'll have to look for a part time then, without my mum knowing, of course, since she wants me to focus on my studies.

RM160 per month, some more my BlackBerry I've been yearning for..

And then, this afternoon, my car broke down. Again. Thank God it didn't happen on the way home from his hostel or else how the heck am I supposed to explain that to my mum?

I didnt skip gym though. Did BabyG's class. Danced to Brown Eyed Girl's Abracadabra. Have to download. Awesomely cute.

What else? Oh yea!! Everyday, stepping onto the weighing scale is like, the most awesome event ever. Cause - yes!! Dropping everyday. I'm so glad.

Although I went to TGI Friday's today, I had Friday's Chicken, which is a sandwich. Grilled chicken, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, bacon slices, and abit of mayo. Not bad. And November Sea Breeze.

Hunny got emo though, cause he got jealous that I'm so good at everything in life, and I go out alot, more better in practical stuff and all.

I told him, there's nothing to emo or jealous about, since you can't ask for everything in life. At least he's good in studies. Better than I am. Right?

And well, kinda like opposites attract. No?

I love you =)

xx

Parents are a PITA most of the time

Parents are a PITA most of the time. Sure.

PITA = Pain In The Ass © Jeremy Duke

They worry too much.

They care too much.

They nag too much.

They even bother whether your car is clean, whether your room is tidy, and whether you ate.

I mean, if I wanna eat, I WILL eat.

I don't need you to come, "Ashley, eat your dinner la." at me.

If I want MY room to be clean, I would have tidied the place up.

I like the way things are done, MY way. I have a system and I would appreciate it if you don't mess things up. Like, throwing stuff you assume is rubbish away.

I don't know why parents wanna care so much.

It's not their life, it's ours. Mine.

I appreciate them for caring, bringing us up and all, but, there's a limit to it.

Another reason why parents are a PITA most of the time.

They care about who you're in a relationship with.

I mean, you're not dating with him, I am.

Or, you're not dating me, he is.

I know you "want the best for me".

Sure.

If I screw up my life, it's no one's fault.

Thanks for caring, if you do. If you don't, too bad.

But in the end, it's my life. You can give advice, but why wanna make the decision FOR me? For us?

So forbidden love does suck. Big Time.

Because when she finds out he's dating me again, she'll send him to Canada.

Another thing, why do parents love to threaten so much?

Threaten to send you away to other places so that we can't be together?

Threaten to cut my hair off when I disobey?

Threaten to ground me if I misbehave?

SERIOUSLY.

Sigh. I can't even comment on his original Facebook profile without the possibility of his mum checking his Facebook.

It's SO depressing that she actually has a Facebook account and she added him,

JUST so she can check on him when she's not around.

Now that's called obsessed. Sorry to say.

Zz.. I hope I'm not like that one day.

I won't forbid my kid's relationships, as long as they're not going to extreme with it, I won't be the parent I don't want to be.

But I guess, on their part, it IS harsh being a parent.

They have to earn a living, take care of us, worry about financial problems, work, and then, to add the burden, they have to worry about us.

It'll be nice too if they just stop for 1 sec. Stop worrying about other things apart from themselves.

Sigh

I didn't go to gym. Was tired. Kinda lazy.

And then, I was watching tv. I called him.

We talked for some time. Then, some topic came up and I challenged him to a game of pool.

1 on 1.

Cause his friends ajak him to pool and he said no.

So then, he said alright. Then he should train up. So he'll beat me next week.

I said,

"Ok. Go train la."

"Should I end the conversation here?"

"Up to you la."

"Okay. To beat you next week I'll end the conversation here."

"Okay then. Bye."

"Bye. Get some sleep"

"No."

"Well then sweetdreams."

"Bye."

I hanged up.

Kinda pissed that, for his own ego he would end our conversation.

And, he failed my test, yet, again.

Well, I'm a girl.

I think I have all the rights to be manja about something stupid. o.O

Updates

I stayed at home today.

No actually, I woke up at 6.45am. Showered, got ready, threw the garbage, left the place and went to Bukit Jelutong, because I'm supposed to start work today.

THEN, apparently, there was a mix up. And, I'm not starting work today. Sigh.

But then, when I got back home, mum told me to call KPJ and make sure when I need to get there and start my course.

So then I did. There's the registration on 29th May, then the Monday after that, it'll be orientation for 3 days, then after that, I'll be starting this "English Intensive Course" for a month, then the nursing course will start.

I'm like...O.O Need to do English INTENSIVE course?? LOL!!

That's the only thing I'm ever really good at. Never failed me. Hah.

But mum said don't be overconfident. True.

I can't wait though. Hostel life would be so awesome. ;)

Then I watched tv while doing my chores.

TV: Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Mercy, & Trauma.

Did my chores: moping, keeping the clothes.

Slept at 2pm, cause it started raining.

And then, it was so cold, the whole day. Just felt like cuddling with him. ^^

I ended up waking at 5pm.

Headache. Sleepiness. Missing him.

I think I wanna head to gym. Don't wanna be lazy la. Since today we have David & Luci.

Tomorrow it'll be Leo so I'll be using the machines instead.

Hm..

xx

Shontelle - Impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worst

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear

I know, I know

And now when all is gone

There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible!

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did..

Updates

Today I had to meet up with my mum to do some PTPTN commissioner for oaths thing.

So, after I did my chores, I left at 11.45am.

I went to his hostel room to surprise him.

And a packet of Yang Chow fried rice. I don't know which other fried rice he eats.

Anyway, asked him to come to Klang with me, and he did.

Obviously dropped him at some place else, and he walked to Jusco.

Met up with my mum, did the thing, went for lunch.

I had..Apple+Orange juice for lunch. Awesome. XD

Then, went to pick him up, we left for KL. Started raining. Jam. Usual KL situation.

Had to pick up my godma's LV stuff from repair but apparently there was a mix up so I couldn't collect it.

Then we went back, I dropped him some place, I went back home to get my dinner, which was Marmalade style salad. So nice. He didnt like it though.

Then we went back to his hostel.

And..*ahem* shower? ;)

Felt so sleepy after I got home.

But then I stayed awake, cause I miss him. So I called him.

Although awkward silences, at least I know he's on the other end.

Then after some time, he said his flu is getting bad.

"With my body condition, can I excuse myself, Headmaster?"

I mean, seriously. What has flu got anything to do with sleeping?

Yea you can avoid it, but it doesn't make the flu get better. I dunno.

Sigh. Whatever la. I don't want to care anymore.

Nevertheless, I miss him. Terribly. Nothing changes that.

Happy Updates

Hmm.. Well, today I did my chores, went out for lunch with my mum, then followed her to 3 places to do her work thingy, then did my PTPTN.

We'll hv to pay back PTPTN b4 we can reapply for KPJ. We'll just have to wait and see.

I'm so happy today.

We had Carl's Jr. I had Low Carb Chicken Club while he had Bacon Swiss.

He took the fries.

Iron Man 2 with him, finally.

During half time, I whispered,

"Sorry to bother you. I need to go."

"I'll follow you."

"No la it's okay. You stay here."

"Take care aite?"

"It's ONLY downstairs. No one's gonna rape me in the washroom."

LOL!!

Then, Baskin Robbins. Pistachio Almond + Rum Raisin in a cone. RM20. Wow. Topped with gummy bears!! =D

Both my treat though. Next time, it's all his.

So now, currently very broke. Better keep from my mum or she'll be like, =="

And then, oh. HA!! I'm so happy. All my balancing thing is worth it. My BMI went back to how it used to be in college.

Eventhough I skipped gym a number of times, I lost 2Kgs. Heh. XD

So proud of myself. :P

Well, thats all I guess.

Missing him already.

Btw, I melt every time you kiss me. ;)

xx

Sigh.

Me. Again.

Sigh. Had a short talk with him.

"Phone no battery."

Then he's lepaking with his friends at the mamak, 11.30pm at night.

Before his exams period, I used to want to talk to him at this time and he'll be "sleepy". And he'll insist that he wants to sleep.

But now, wow. At the mamak somemore. Doesn't wanna go back and charge.

Well I'm not gonna be selfish and ask him to go back and charge right?

Even when I hadn't had a proper conversation with him for a week+ now.

It has all been 5mins & whispered conversations, short sms-es, and slow replies, except for today.

Even after his exams when he went home when he can't talk because of his parents lurking around.

And even when I feel the most down. PMS, backache, and all those crap I've been dealing with this past week.

No.

I'm not gonna do that.

Because his friends were important. So let it be.

I just miss him so much.

Is that so wrong? So hard to understand?

I'll just get to bed. Or watch tv until I feel sleepy.

Nights.

Sigh.

Not much happening here.

My cramps. So much for no more cramps. And I feel super weak. Thank goodness no work today. Or I'll be half dead.

Kinda argued with him a little last afternoon. I think. Barely remember.

And then, my parents were arguing last night & I hid in my room and cried for an hour. Not because of the fight but because I feel my mum's pain for all that she has to go through. Wanted to talk to him cause I was feeling so depressed and out of breath, I didn't wanna cry anymore. So I told him I wanted to talk to him but then he said call him at midnight. By midnight then I won't need him anymore so what's the point?

Sigh. Not much help, is it? Nothing much to hope for.

Then today I've been hiding under my comforter for almost 1/2 the day. In the morning, went to the market, went out for breakfast, grocery shopped, done my chores, made cabbage + eggs for dinner.

Really don't know what to feel right now.

I just feel so crappy and I just hate it.

Hopefully I'll get another job soon. I need distractions.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm alone in this world.

You can't count really count on anyone to cheer you up but yourself.

Rachel Liang - 哭过就好了

不喜欢怀疑什黱

bu xi huan huai yi shi me

并不表示我没有感受

bing bu biao shi wo mei you gan shou

看你微妙的变化慢慢不同

kan ni wei miao de bian hua man man bu tong

我不是生气只是心痛

wo bu shi sheng qi zhi shi xin tong

最讨厌被误会了

zui tao yan bei wu hui le

但越解释越觉得难过

dan yue jie shi yue jue de nan guo

你可以说人会变但不能说

ni ke yi shuo ren hui bian dan bu neng shuo

你会这黱做是我的错

ni hui zhe me zuo shi wo de cuo

哭过就好了伤都会好的

ku guo jiu hao le shang dou hui hao de

这样相信所以深呼吸著割舍

zhe yang xiang xin suo yi shen hu xi zhuo ge she

爱是为了拥抱为了牵手

ai shi wei le yong bao wei le qian shou

不是为了争吵为了调头

bu shi wei le zheng chao wei le diao tou

哭过就好了痛都会走的

ku guo jiu hao le tong du hui zou de

记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的

ji yi you xian suo yi ta hui tao tai huai de

失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩

shi mian ting ge xiang nian sui ran ku se

还是谢谢你让我长大了

hai shi xie xie ni rang wo zhang da le

最讨厌被误会了

zui tao yan bei wu hui le

但越解释越觉得难过

dan yue jie shi yue jue de nan guo

你可以说人会变但不能说

ni ke yi shuo ren hui bian dan bu neng shuo

你会这黱做是我的错

ni hui zhe me zuo shi wo de cuo

哭过就好了伤都会好的

ku guo jiu hao le shang dou hui hao de

这样相信所以深呼吸著割舍

zhe yang xiang xin suo yi shen hu xi zhuo ge she

爱是为了拥抱为了牵手

ai shi wei le yong bao wei le qian shou

不是为了争吵为了调头

bu shi wei le zheng chao wei le diao tou

哭过就好了痛都会走的

ku guo jiu hao le tong du hui zou de

记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的

ji yi you xian suo yi ta hui tao tai huai de

失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩

shi mian ting ge xiang nian sui ran ku se

还是谢谢你让我长大了

hai shi xie xie ni rang wo zhang da le

越多美好堆叠的过往

yue duo mei hao dui die de guo wang

想忘就得推倒更大的悲伤

xiang wang jiu de dui tao geng da de bei shang

要找勇气却不在口袋或手上

yao zhao yong qi que bu zai kou dai huo shou shang

但它一定在我身上某个地方

dan ta yi ding zai wo shen shang tong ge di fang

哭过就好了痛都会走的

ku guo jiu hao le tong du hui zou de

记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的

ji yi you xian suo yi ta hui tao tai huai de

失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩

shi mian ting ge xiang nian sui ran ku se

还是谢谢你让我长大了

hai shi xie xie ni rang wo zhang da le

Sigh.

Apart from gym, nothing else was amusing today.

I mean, I was down for almost the whole day.

Sigh.

This week has been a trying time for me. He had his exams and all, and I tahan only, until today.

I miss him so much but it seems like, it doesn't apply to him although he says it. And, he takes his own sweet time to reply. Been too busy for me in a way. Never said good night.

And, I hate, because, he never listens to me. When I give my opinion, when I give advice or anything, he doesn't listen. He never does.

But when I ask for his, he doesn't give!! He makes me frustrated every time I ask him for his opinion because he either asks me to decide myself.

"Erm..I dunno..I guess."

Something he would say. Or,

"Up to you la."

Zz.. Whats the point of asking then, since it's gonna turn into a rhetorical question in the end.

I'm upset, because he never seems to need me. Wait.

He DOESN'T need me. He wants me. There's a difference. Then, I become clingy pulak.

Because I need him.

......

Sigh.

I really don't know what to do now.

Maybe I should just do what I do best.

Say, "Oh well."

Laugh it off.

Ignore.

Forget.

Miley Cyrus

This is Miley Cyrus' new video. Honestly, I hate most of the comments they gave.

Some comments are like, saying,

"What is she? Britney?"

"oh. copying lady gaga & Kesha."

I mean, whats wrong with being LIKE britney? I love britney.

Means she's copying every single hot artists out there, since

Beyonce dresses like that, Gaga dresses like that, Danity Kane girls dresses like that, Rihanna dresses like that.

Everyone can dress like that, EXCEPT for Miley. Because why?

"She's a role model." "Disney star"

Just because she started at Disney doesn't mean she's gonna have to be all angel-innocent like for the next 40 years of her life. Everyone has to grow up some time. Besides, its just a music video where she's dancing. Doesnt mean she's gonna do porn next.

Personally, I think she's awesome. For waking up every morning, and facing all those asses who hate her. Kinda like me in a way.

We say,

"Screw them. This is how I am. You either love me for it, or hate me, cause I'll rather be hated for who I am than loved for someone I'm pretending to be."

xx

Accepting KPJ

Ok. I'm accepting KPJ.

Sudden, I know.

Well, it's today or wait for another 2 years. No thanks. I ain't getting younger.

After the 1st year, I can go for the interview & get sponsored by the KPJ group. Only if I get good results of course. Based on the 1st year results. Then, I'll be tied to contract for 4 years to KPJ.

I really wanna do this. Only thing, FUGLY clothes!!

I am NOT allowed to wear the following:-

-Skirt above the knee

-Shorts (tight fit)

-T-shirt without collar

-Sleeveless shirts

-Slippers

-Berpurdah. [whatever that meant]

And, of course, no super fashion.

I DON'T CARE.

I'm gonna bring some nice clothes there.

As long as I don't wear them on college grounds its fine right?

I mean, I still have to face people you know. :P

They didnt say anything about jeans though, so I guess that's alright.

Mako-Chan: "Its a malay college. What do you expect?"

Mum giving me RM100 for every week. Hope I can survive with that. LOL can la. XD I've been surviving on RM50 since school.

Unless I go shopping. =.="

Hope I can bring my laptop though...

I.....I.....

......

I can't live without my laptop. O.O

Then my godma was being SUCH a bitch.

Came into the kitchen where my mum and I were sitting, and said,

"Oh you know, the neighbour mak cik's daughter, is so obedient. She hangs the clothes every morning, bright smile all the time. The parents are so good at teaching."

I was like, blardy hell. Indirectly saying my mum isn't good at teaching me, & comparing la.

Like, hello?

Who was the one who gave me a horrible childhood? She did.

Who was the one who "disciplines" me all the time? She did.

So if anyone is to be blamed, it's her.

AND - she told my godpa about the you-know-what case that happened last year. Blardy hell.

My mum didn't speak to her for a couple of days. Pissed obviously. She already said specifically, "No one else is to know."

Sigh. Can't be trusted. At all. No one.

It's only me & my mum against the world. Always.

Oh and, general horoscope from Facebook app,

"You may have to deal with one annoying individual who could appear to be looking for an argument today. The best approach is to avoid confrontation while resolutely staying your current course."

I guess we both know, who that applies to. :P

And then, Mako-Chan wasn't much help. Asked him if he were me, would he sacrifice fashion for my diploma.

Simple yes or no question, he kept replying, "Erm..Ok right?"

Not exactly putting himself into my shoes.

I LOVE dressing up. Sigh.

Oh well. I'm accepting it. Done deal.

Let's just hope for the best aite? ^^

Oh, and about the Mechatronics thing..it's something like, Mechanical & Electronics.

Something like that. According to Mako-Chan la. Suddenly called me and was like,

"Mechatronics!! Give me!! I want. *laughs that seriously cute laugh of his*"

Well, that's like, I dunno..for me la. *ahem* Better do IT man. Or stick to Aerospace Engineering. Since Mechatronics sounds..cheap. To me la. Heh. :P

AND..b4 I go..

Good Morning. XD

xx

Last day of Ricoh, more course options -.-"

Broken radio. Not a metaphor. Mum was nagging me all the way back from Glenmarie since today was my last day at Ricoh.

Well, she DID do something to my radio. Suddenly no sound. =="

Yes. Stephanie, my supervisor, has a thing against me. Probably either I Facebook too much. Or I do stuff slow. I mean, seriously. If she thinks its so easy, why don't she bring the stuff, sit down with a cup of coffee at home, and do it by herself? Its a boring job. You type, and type, and type. AND type. So she emailed to HR department to end my contract early.

HR Yeap was like saying, "So sorry Ashley."

Oh well. I can look for some admin stuff that gives me a better pay.

Went out for lunch with mum. Had Dim Sum at Tai Thong Restaurant. =D

Then, she got me a few more stuff to look at.

Diploma in Mechatronics??? Yea sure. Scholarship.

-Paid by the Kementerian Sumber Malaysia

-Held at Skills Tech Academy, 2 years & 3 months

-Monthly allowance RM250

-Syllabus: 20% Tutorial - 80% Training

Fun. Huh. Its Mechatronics!! Like, something like engineering. Get my hands dirty? Or..or..electronic stuff? No thanks.

The 2nd one, Lincoln College, Diploma In Nursing.

-Kelana Jaya

-Near Putra LRT

-RM54,000

-3 years

Ok. Right? But, then, Have to apply for PTPTN. Not cheap.

Sigh.. Life's hard. Huh?

And..Missing him. Still. We barely talked.. I cant call him, or I'll be disturbing him.

*sniff*

Gotta suck it up.

I sure hope he misses me as much as I'm missing him.

He'd better be. *Glares*

:P

♥ you Hunny Bun Bun. *hugs tightly*

xx

Missing you ♥

Sigh.. well, he's busy. Busy. Studying.

Barely replying.

No time for lil ol me anymore.

Even when Ash said let's go to Langkawi this Dec, then, he said "We'll see first la."

Because why? He has blardy Majors. And thats all he's worried about.

When I called him, voice stressssss jer.

Sigh..

No idea how much I'm missing him.

*sob*

I hate how people get all stressed up for some blardy exam. If it was me, I'll be like, ok calm down. Because if I stress, I'll forget stuff. Proven. Dunno la. Not everyone is like me, boleh chill jer.

*shrugs*

RBD - Tu Amor

Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say

Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain

What I feel in my heart

What I feel more each day

How to make you see

How to let you know

How to say how to say how I love you so

With words you understand

Words that get right through to your heart

Here's the place to start

Tu amor, I will always be

Tu amor, means the world to me

Estarás siempre en mi corazón

You're the one in my soul

And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Mi amor love you more with each look in your eyes

Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe

What I feel in my heart

What I'll feel for all time

How to make you see

How to let you know

How to say how to say how I need you so

With words you understand

Words that get through to your soul

Words that let you now

Tu amor, I will always be

Tu amor, means the world to me

Estarás siempre en mi corazón

You're the one in my soul

And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

You're the one that

I need in my arms

Believe me these words

I say are words that come straight from my heart

How do I make you believe

Nothing else means as much as what you mean to me

Tu amor, I will always be

Tu amor, means the world to me

Estarás siempre en mi corazón

You're the one in my soul

And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Updates

Last night was.. ok la. Warm. XD

Went over to his place & lepak. Told him I wouldn't kacau him study as long as I'm there. So he agreed. Ended up, HE was the one who came to kacau me.

There I was, nicely enjoying Zombieland on his iPod, sitting on his bed, suddenly came, paused the movie, and came pining me down. I was like, No. Go study. Then he said Dun wan.

Ace suddenly tried to barge in though; he went, "Blardy hell. Wanna take my notes la." Luckily he heard him trying to open the door. Or else. :P He got his notes, then shook his head at us, and walked out of the room. I was like, "No!! His fault." XD Which was true. Told him to study kan? I was so innocently sitting on his bed watching movie on his bed.

After that, I was hungry. I made him make me dinner. Maggi. Heh. :P

He merajuk for like, 5 mins, cause I called this dude who added me on Facebook cute. What? His profile pic reminded me of Pete Wentz *drools*

Well I told him, no matter how cute other guys are, he's always the one for me. =)

After I got home, showered, packed my stuff, played RC abit, crawled into my bed, and it was goodnight. =3

This morning my mum curi my car for the day. Cause she sent hers for service. More like, gonna change her super old engine. So she has to use my car to get to work. Dropped me off. Probably gonna drop my car for me later. Depends la. No lunch out today. XD

Missing him. As usual. Hope you're not bored of my saying this.

xx

Secret Indulgence

OH.. I've been SO naughty..

For the past month, my lunch consisted of:-

Maggi
Mashed Potato
Rice
Fried Chicken
KFC
McDonald
Fries
Meatballs
Ice Cream
Snacks

T.T!! OMG!!

Only..good news is.. I didnt put on a single gram on the weighing scale.

Why?

Cause it's either I eat a barely more than 150kJ dinner..

Or

I dont eat.

So!! Balanced ma..

XD

Sigh..gotta discipline back myself.

Hmph!

xx

Awkward Silences

I miss him. Terribly. And, well, PMS was NOT so awesome last night.

On the way to gym, I got into a emotional hyperventilating mode.

I cried when someone came out slow at the parking and the guy at the back got it.

I cried when someone followed me so close I couldn't park at this spot, and then, after I made a round, some Saga stole my spot RIGHT in front of me.

Well not literally cry. I went into a watery eyed situation because I didnt wanna cry over such a thing so I told myself not to cry.

I breathed deeply, I exhale, I stopped at the side of the road, and told myself to chill.

Gym wasn't as awesome either. 2 weeks - can't do 30 bicep curls in a shot, kept missing the dance steps.

Was quite disappointed with myself, in a way.

And then after that, I called him.

And he just kept silent on the phone.

So, I said: "Why're you keeping silent on the phone? I'm talking to you."

"Oh..erm..I know this excuse doesn't work..*silence* I'm studying."

Alright, fine, you wanna study go ahead. Don't let me ruin ur day.

It's NOT that I dont want him to study and all but, at least, he could have told me straight when I called him, that his mum called and threatened him if he doesn't score for his exams, its byebye to Tarc & A-levels.

Well if it was me, I'll say "Screw you ma. No one can force me to get an A if I JUST can't do it. It's like, trying to build a laptop from scratch when you dont know a thing about computers."

He should just focus on his studies this week. No need to bother about my feelings and sense of need. I want him to have a good life too.

I wish him the best of luck for everything.

ILY.

Dry throat, nauseousness, headache. Hopefully I'll get better by lunch.

xx

New shoes~~

Well, yesterday went shopping. It was alright. Found this awesome shop called Opera. It's like Summit. Shoes that look like Charles & Keith, price like Nose & Novo. Heh. Awesome. Bought 2 shoes. 1 killer heels, & 1 gladiator flats.

Sorry no pics though. Forgot the pics are in my phone's memory and sent it for repair since it keeps hanging for no apparent reason, at least twice a day.

Then had dinner at Jun Kee Restaurant. Ate quite a lot of chicken & tofu. A bowl of rice. Killers.

Mum said I can go back to gym 5 days a week now. XD

This morning was crazy.

Mum came in with the vacuum cleaner so then I was talking to my mum then my godma called me so I said "Yea ma.." but then my mum started talking to me after my godma didn't say anything else.

Then all of a sudden she started babbling and going on and on about how "disrespectful", "showing attitude" I was. So I kept quiet and let her go on. Saying that my brain has "angin" & I'll be sweet when I want and not when I dont have the mood.

Maybe she DID say something and I didnt hear. Common sense, how am I supposed to hear if she said anything with the vacuum cleaner so noisy right next to my bed?

Like I said, if anyone has angin, it's her. Probably forgot her meds that morning. Who the fuck wants to cari pasal with other people at 6.45am? For God's sake.

Well, I was like, whatever.

I dont intend to let any petty stuff get to me early in the morning. Hm.

Missing my Hunny. No I'm NOT coming to see you this week. Dah 2 weeks. *restraining myself*

xx

P.S. I LOVE my new shoes. ;)